A few days ago, curtsey of this guy: danisnotonfire, I learned that it’s a good thing that you enter a life crisis early in your life in order for you not to do so in the future when you are too old to do anything, too true, but one of my parents doesn’t think so. I admit I don’t go to college, I don’t go to work and I barely do any house work, but I try in my own way to decide what I want to do with my life and it’s hard and moving slow.
This year I finally came to a conclusion, going to college and not just any college, but overseas in the UK, my dream since I was in elementary. But this decision came at the worst time possible, when my family was finally hit by the effects of the global crisis and we have no money, aka I have to somehow get boarding and food money from somewhere.
My dad recently had surgery and he has no job anymore. Today he pretty much accused me how he had to go to work early just to make some money so I can fulfill my dream. Accused is a little much, but the way he said it was like he truly wanted to help me, he really did, but he was also utterly frustrated by his decision.
I always urged my parents into opening an account for me. You see, when I wasn’t legally considered an adult they never took my opinion into consideration and since I am now, for a while even, an adult in the eyes of the law, I have to bear every burden existent an adult should bear. When I told them they should open a bank account for me and pour a little bit of money each month there, they said they’ll think about it but never did and we we’re doing very well financially back then.
Now all they can say each day is how I should get a job already and I tried, I really did, but I had no luck. In about a week I have to go do some inventory work and I’ll stay all night, I pray it’ll go well since if I make any mistakes I’ll be thrown out and they’ll give me no money whatsoever. But I want to try with the job again as soon as I finish with that, but mom and dad started a daily thing of reminding me how much of a failure I am and how all those around me are either going to college and have a part-time job at the same time or work fulltime somewhere, I do neither so I have to do something about it!
I did, I got accepted into one of my choice colleges in the UK, my mom whooped for a minute or two (she doesn’t like the idea at all of me leaving so the enthusiasm isn’t all that much there) and my dad started worrying about how they’ll be able to support me through my years there since we have no money.
It’s my problem and I told them that. Support financially wise from them would be a blessing of course and a big help, but they’re not obligated to do so. They had their changes many times and they blew it and now they think of helping me? It was ok if they didn’t stress about how much of a pain it is (not in words but in attitude). So I simply told them that if I have no money to go until the due date then fine I’ll just go to a choice college here and maybe after a few years of working I’ll move permanently overseas. They still didn’t get it.
Each and every day it’s the same thing. Get a job, get a job! You’re doing nothing, but being a lazy bum! You should already know what to do with your life! A life crisis, what’s that? You’re too young for such a thing! Do something about your life instead of sitting on your ass doing nothing about it!
Oh, really? Well you know what dear parents? I am! I’m trying the best I can, you don’t have to remind me every day what a failure and a schmuck I am! I made a decision at a bad time, I know, but you did nothing to help until now and now since you see yourself backed in a corner you want me to feel horrible about it? Maybe that’s not your intention, but please back off a little, I’m telling you that every day and you don’t listen!
I wish to go to college overseas and financially it’s impossible, I know, but I still want to go so I’ll try all I can, but please be my back up not my irritating neighborhood grandma who makes me experience a mental breakdown on a frequent basis since I’m not good enough. I know what I am doing, at least I think so, but if I mess up, oh well its mistake to make. I just want you to be my friends and understand even if a little bit. So please help me with a good word and a bit of advice and don’t nag me daily, I already have enough problems without you having to remind me.
And if you have kids or if you are someone going through the same thing or a similar situation as mine, help your children lighten their emotional burden and you other guys don’t give up no matter what. Your yellow brick road is somewhere behind a door, all you have to do is find it. If your parents don’t get it, then just do what you have to do and make sure they don’t bring your spirits down.
It’s good if they’re there for you without putting more stress on your persona but if not, try to make them understand, and if even that doesn’t work, then plan b, aka try to make your dreams come true however you think possible. You’ll need help of course and even if my parents pressure me more than anything else lately, I still have friends to lament to and I’m still working as hard as I can, so you do too. As long as you work towards it, whatever you receive a good response or not, at least you worked for it and you’ll always know you tried and that’s actually more worthwhile than anything.
Sorry for lamenting so much and thank you for those who read the whole thing, I really needed to put this in written form, it helped lighten up my soul somehow. Cheers and good luck for those that are trying to make their lives worth it. I’m supporting you from behind since I’m trying to do the same thing. Let’s try to make our dreams come true.
Do your best and go for it!